Day 41 I went for a run early and then practiced. Such a physically different feeling than the night before. I felt loose and easy, even smooth. On this day I had some other crap going on in life and a lot of anger. I did quite a bit of practicing, in between texting a friend for advice and venting and ruminating and... then in the evening I talked to a professor about a prospective program. Lets just say that it did not go well and afterwards I was in tears and very discouraged. I cried and cried and cried...
Day 42 Still upset from all the things, but also telling myself that one person at one school's opinion is not what matters. They don't know me. They have never heard me play. They don't know what's important to me... So I did practice some... .52 minutes.
Day 43 Rest Day
Day 44 I journaled about how I felt like I wasted a lot of time this week... being human... obsessing over things... a lot of sadness, anger, other sadness... a rough week emotionally. Just went through a piece for a concert in November and will start the audition work again tomorrow. I wrote that cello Esther is happy, but wants more hours towards the end of the week. I'm looking at my calendar and thinking TOO FULL!!! and also, that I need to be employed more... Needing to practice more time. What I worked on was productive but not enough to meet my deadlines. Its a long haul!
Day 42 Still upset from all the things, but also telling myself that one person at one school's opinion is not what matters. They don't know me. They have never heard me play. They don't know what's important to me... So I did practice some... .52 minutes.
Day 43 Rest Day
Day 44 I journaled about how I felt like I wasted a lot of time this week... being human... obsessing over things... a lot of sadness, anger, other sadness... a rough week emotionally. Just went through a piece for a concert in November and will start the audition work again tomorrow. I wrote that cello Esther is happy, but wants more hours towards the end of the week. I'm looking at my calendar and thinking TOO FULL!!! and also, that I need to be employed more... Needing to practice more time. What I worked on was productive but not enough to meet my deadlines. Its a long haul!
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