Saturdays practice was in the evening instead of AM and it went really well... Gene even commented that things seemed to be working well... more efficient sounding... 
Here are some of the things I have been thinking about:
x over playing, and the limit of the instrument
x resonance and drones, tuning, ring
x foundations
x preserving physical energy
x base thumb joint
x relaxed wrist
I just sat down to practice and I felt sleepy, arms and hands stiff, disengaged. I made some tea, and I am going to do some yoga and try again. 

Practice Intention for Saturday...Day 77:
7AM Take a Walk
Do yoga or feldenkrais
7:45AM Drones with Bach Prelude, Thumb Position spots
Sixths
Do memory cards
9AM Metronome with Finzi
Work on a memorization spot
-teach-
PM:
Review application materials 30 min.
Hard spots Fazil Say 
Play through Allemande slow and out of rhythm, just lining things up

This week I have done shorter sessions each day, with specific focus on the movements for the pre-screen video. I made a ABCD list for each one... ideal... then down from there... Recording now in the shape they are in, next steps... I've been playing through each movement each day, trying to focus on making at least one note or passage better.
On Monday during the marathon day, I played through the second movement of the concerto and I got sobbing... missing mom... and thinking about how she took me to all my lessons... printed the list of schools offering music degrees in the US... how I couldn't tell her about the DMA journey. Missing mom has been hard the last few weeks. I miss her everyday. 
Another challenge this week was a 3 day migraine headache... and the Statement of Purpose required for the application that took me a total of 6 hours! 6! 
I had a complete meltdown on day 75 thinking that I just wasn't good enough, and no matter how much time I had put in, it just would never be enough and I wasn't as good as all the other DMA cellists... I wouldn't get accepted... just so sad... I cried hard for a few minutes then I thought about what I would say to a student:
- You can't change the past. You are right here where you are. 
- You still have time. Keep working. Don't give up on the hard spots, keep putting the rocks in the hole... again... can you figure out anything that you missed? try any new strategies? do it again? Just keep coming back to them. Add one more note of memorization... be intentional. We don't know if you will be the level of candidate they want, but you can do your best and just see what happens... When I went back and practiced again it sounded much better and I am trying to just keep returning to the hard measures, the parts I don't have memorized... the intonation... a little more and a little more and a little more.... 

I woke up before the alarm and couldn't sleep... So I did the first walk at 5AM in the dark... then yoga, improvisation with drones by candlelight... and I started my journey. I walked .3 miles on the hour which was three times around the field, or a walk in the woods. 7AM...then 8AM Gene walked with me. It was snowing a bit and wet, so I would put on an extra pair of pants, boots, hat, coat... I had snacks... and kept going... and going... I did some memorization games, listening, and lots and lots of practicing... at 2pm I drove down to Marcy Field and met my friend who was actually running a mile on the hour and we ran together and then went to the little community store and got baked goods, vegs, treats! then more walks and more practicing... 4pm, 5pm, 6pm, 7pm, 8pm with Gene in the dark with headlamps... and more... at 9pm I met Dre for the final run and we did 2 miles... Fourteen walks, two jogs, about 7 miles total, and at least 7 hours of practicing... or more... SOOO tired at the end... physically, mentally... couldn't have done more without an injury in my arms or hands... 

Eating chips and nacho dip and memorizing Bach Prelude game. 

Day 67 My friend turned 100! Birthday Party! Some practicing
Day 68  Supposed to play with pianist which was cancelled so I got some good practicing in... and stacked a lot of wood! 
Day 69 Taught, Did some practicing, Rehearsal
Day 70 Performance Walton Facade SUNY Plattsburgh... Taught lessons, rested... concert!
Day 71 Rest Day and Prep for practice marathon...! 
Most of this week my practicing was productive, but didn't feel like it was enough at all... I spent about five hours on my application for Miami... was struggling to find time to do everything... On Sunday morning I freaked out about not having enough time to practice when I looked at my calendar for the week and it looked full... I spazzed and then made a plan. I moved lessons closer together, asked people to move from morning to afternoon so I could get my time in first, and I made plans to use my Monday to the fullest with the mile an hour challenge... 
It was inspired by this guy... a runner who ran a mile on the hour and did as many projects around the house as he could in between... I wanted to use the exercise time as a reset and structure for getting as much practicing done as I could... On Sunday night I prepped food, found snacks, filled my nalgene bottle, vacuumed my cello room, set out my yoga mat, made a plan, and set my alarm for 5:50AM.... 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EvT5XS7j-Dc&t=6s
​

 Day 59-66 I've been practicing every day, but discouraged that it never seems enough and I'm not on top of everything. Been practicing for Facade gig so that takes away some of the focus also... but I'm slogging through. I was thinking about how its like doing 3 mile days. Not what I want but still miles... but I'll need some big mileage days if I want to meet my goal! 
Day 63 Lesson with Erika Duke Kirkpatrick, and chat about Cal-Arts. Disappointed to hear there are very few string players. It is important to me to have the sound and playing and opportunity of playing quartets again. Cal-Arts ruled out. I loved my lesson though and am sad that studying with her in person is not a possibility any more. 
Day 64 Rest Day
Day 65 3.45 hrs! RECORD DAY! Its been actually years since I practiced that much in one day. The hard thing was that I felt like I made little progress... perhaps that is true, or its just that there is so much to do I'm impatient. Either way, I put the time in! I sent short clips of myself playing from the concerto to several cello teachers/friends and asked for suggestions. Each response was unique and helpful! My main struggle right now is feeling imbalanced and tense in my bow hand. I re-focused on balancing to middle fingers, and bending my thumb... bad habits still alive and well! I go to play more that a passage and I just can't get through it. Its painful and the sound is bad, and I start to get anxious... 
Today I did some gentle weight lifting before starting my practicing and had a lot of outdoor time mixed in. It helped me feel focused and okay with sitting still so long indoors. 
Day 66 2.45 hrs! Another solid day! I practiced about 45 minutes of the Bach 6 prelude and I focused on loosening up my wrist (a suggestion from my friend Sandra) and it helped so much... the stamina... the sound... all of it felt so much more doable with that focus. 

Day 50 Rest Day
Day 51 Lesson with Alan Rafferty at CCM. He pointed out that I needed to work on hearing sixths. Not as a separate interval but the double stops moving through sixths. He is totally right. He sent me an exercise to work on and I started thinking about all the ways we use sixths and it felt like an ocean of things to work on... 
52-55 productive practicing but not enough of it. Also working on Walton Facade for gig so not all focused.
Day 56-57 Family Days... drove to Rochester to visit family... Sat-Mon. intense trip, glad I went but hard to get back into things. 
Day 58   20 min warm up with niece practicing piano, 20 minutes on music for gig